Guest Poem

7/2/2009 – 12:56 pm

There once was a Gov. named St. Mark
With an outlook both righteous and dark
He told folks what to do
Hey y’all gays – don’t y’all screw!
And he packed up his gear for the park.

Well it turns out “the park” was a lie
Cause the Gov had a ticket to fly
There were lines to be crossed
(and some vows to be tossed)
Though he SAYS he just went there to cry.

Now this story must end for the Gov.
And he’s given his sweetie the shove
Left her clutching her parts
Cause Republican hearts
Know hypocrisy is their first love.
–Mom (written for the Huffington Post, who wouldn’t publish it.)

By Nathan | Posted in General | Comments (4)

Roller Skating Lessons

7/2/2009 – 8:03 am

Kelly gets these ideas in her head. I’m not sure how it happens. Sometimes it involves horses. Sometimes dogs. And sometimes it involves taking roller skating lessons. Earlier this week she IMed me and asked me if I wanted to take roller skating lessons out at Rollercade in South County. And since I’m a sucker, I agreed to go along. How bad could it be?

Well it turned out to not be “bad”. But it definitely turned out to be really weird. First off, apparently the name of this group of wannabe skaters is the “Rollercadettes”. I guess that means I’m a Rollercadette now. It makes sense though, because the group is made up of me and Kelly, a 65 year old man, and then about 10 girls aged 8-13. That didn’t make it awkward at all.

Then there is the teacher. He is a really fancy guy. I think he is trying to relive his days of of roller skating excellence through us. Which brings up another point. He’s trying to teach us how to be really fancy. Like, proper leg technique and transferring our weight all dancily. And I really just want to skate around in a circle. But that’s okay. I don’t mind learning how to be all pretty.

So overall, I had a pretty good time. It was quite different to skate on roller skates as opposed to inline skates. The skates feel much more “stable” in a way that was unexpected. It really felt like they wanted to just keep going straight, making turning a lot more difficult. But a large portion of my skills transferred, and I was at least able to go pretty fast.

But then, after skating, the weirdest thing happened. There is free skate after the lesson, and the crowd that showed up was… let’s say “interesting”. It was mostly these strange middle aged guys who showed up to join the rollercadettes. I’m talking super creepy. And yet very very good at skating. Scarily good at skating.

And as we were leaving I sat down to take my skates off, and one of them sat down next to me, randomly and out of nowhere, showed me a rubix cube, and said “Do you remember these?” Then he spent the next 5 minutes telling me all about solving a rubix cube. It was so weird, and so awkward. I still don’t really understand what happened, but I’m scared to go back because I’m pretty sure he’s going to be there, and I don’t ever want to go through something like that again.

Oh Kelly… The things you sucker me into…

By Nathan | Posted in Kelly, Ridiculousness | Comments (4)

Horse Report

6/29/2009 – 8:27 am

Remember when I posted down below about how Kelly and I were going to a Polo match? I bet you all want to know how it was. Well, I’m here to tell you.

So we gathered our stuff up yesterday, packed a lunch, and headed out. After driving way the hell out to Defiance, MO, we ended up at the polo field. And as we turned up the drive to head to the parking I thought “Hmm… There sure aren’t many people here.” And then sure enough, as we drove a little further up, we realized that there were NO people there. The whole area was completely deserted.

After some quick checking on our iPhones to determine that yes, we did have the right day, we decided that something else must have gone terribly wrong, and we went and had our picnic on the playground of some random elementary school.

Well no content to just let this go, when we arrived back at Kelly’s parents to have dinner with them, I decided to check the website again, and there was a number to call to see about cancellations and things of that nature. On a lark, I called. The match was scheduled for 5:00, and we had arrived at 3:00. Oops.

It was too late, though, and we decided to just sit on the couch and watch bad television instead. There will be other polo matches.

By Nathan | Posted in Animals, Kelly | Comments (0)

Melted Horsies

6/25/2009 – 9:43 am

So if you are lucky enough to live in St. Louis, you know that we’ve been going through a little bit of a heat wave. Of course, by “little bit”, I mean that the temperature basically doesn’t seem to have dropped below 95 for the last week. We’re talking seriously miserable, especially for someone like myself who doesn’t like going outside if it is much above 65.

Anyway, so in light of this, Kelly and I made some ridiculous plans for this weekend. I guess in what is going to become a yearly tradition, unless I put my foot down, we are going to go watch a Polo match out West somewhere. Way west of Chesterfield is about as specific as I can be. We went and saw one last year, and it was marginally amusing, mostly for the crowd, which consisted of some normal looking people, and then people who were really upset that the normal looking people were there. And a dandy.

The game itself was actually surprisingly boring. It is kind of like hockey on horses. Every once in a while one of them will start running really fast and everyone gets excited. But for the most part they are standing around fidgeting with the ball. It is probably more fun to play.

So this year we are going back, and it is this Sunday. Now the high is only supposed to be around 90, but we’re still probably going to die. But we are taking a picnic lunch, and Kelly really likes her horses, so I will dutifully tag along. And hopefully have a good time laughing at all of the upper crust sweating their asses off just like us.

And hey, if you want to join us, it is only $10 a car!

By Nathan | Posted in Animals, Kelly | Comments (1)

Quitting That

6/23/2009 – 6:58 am

I deactivated that “daily twitter” thing. It was pointless, and I apologize for bombarding you with all of that crap, which I’m pretty sure all of you already read elsewhere.

By Nathan | Posted in Stupidity, Technical | Comments (0)

Daily Twitter Update

6/23/2009 – 1:00 am
By Nathan | Posted in Pointless Ruminations | Comments (0)

If You’re Too Lazy

6/22/2009 – 4:55 pm

By Nathan | Posted in Music | Comments (0)

The Felice Brothers

6/22/2009 – 4:49 pm

Last week Kelly and I went to a concert, and it was amazing. The band we saw was The Felice Brothers, and the best that I can describe them is a country/folk/rock group. They put on an amazing show, which is something to be said from someone who really doesn’t like live music at all. In fact, I actively dislike live music, but this was so good that I didn’t want it to end.

I’ve been listening to them pretty much non-stop since the show, and I’ve just been liking them more and more. You can check them out on Myspace, but what I’m going to recommend is that if you actually care enough to want to listen, is to go on youtube and search for them. There are a bunch of clips from their live shows, and it really gives you a good idea what they are like.

I feel kinda stupid because I can’t think of better words, or something more interesting to write about them. But I really think they are amazing, and I think you will too, so check them out.

By Nathan | Posted in Music | Comments (2)

Daily Twitter Update

6/22/2009 – 1:00 am
By Nathan | Posted in Pointless Ruminations | Comments (0)

Happy Birthday, Abby

6/21/2009 – 8:08 am

The editors and staff here at “The Frog” would like to send a great big happy birthday out to Abby. We haven’t always made it easier on her, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t like her. So Happy Birthday!

By Nathan | Posted in General | Comments (1)

Daily Twitter Update

6/20/2009 – 1:00 am
  • Discovered a new band – The Felice Brothers 01:57:23
  • Why is it that the lowest of the lowlifes congregate in the stltoday.com comment sections? 10:52:59
  • Hell yeah, Vickers! Second pole in 2 weeks! #NASCARnerd 22:20:06
By Nathan | Posted in Pointless Ruminations | Comments (0)

Daily Twitter Update

6/18/2009 – 1:00 am
  • I& #039;m not entirely convinced our government wouldn& #039;t crack down on us if we decided to have massive street protests. 09:28:28
By Nathan | Posted in Pointless Ruminations | Comments (0)

Daily Twitter Update

6/17/2009 – 1:00 am
By Nathan | Posted in Pointless Ruminations | Comments (0)

Bill Maher

6/15/2009 – 12:49 pm

By Nathan | Posted in General | Comments (3)

The Miserables

6/15/2009 – 12:49 pm

I don’t know if any of you are interested, but Abby, Kelly, and I are playing in the orchestra for Les Miserables. Some of you may remember that last year Abby and I played in the pit for West Side Story. Well the same group this year is doing The Miserables, and again, I am playing in the pit. Even better, however, is that this year Kelly will be joining us, even though she’s only been fluting for around a year.

So anyway, the performances are June 25-27th. They are at 7:30 at the Missouri Baptist auditorium. I would like it if any of you would like to come and see us. It will probably be at least marginally entertaining. And there is a small chance you will get to see me on stage in a costume.

By Nathan | Posted in Kelly, Music | Comments (2)

Daily Twitter Update

6/14/2009 – 1:00 am
  • Holy shit… Air racing is amazing and intense. How have I just discovered this?! 11:11:23
  • Going to dirt track racing watching. 19:32:52
By Nathan | Posted in Pointless Ruminations | Comments (0)

Daily Twitter Update

6/13/2009 – 1:00 am
  • Rockin’ out the to music of “The Miserables” 12:02:14
By Nathan | Posted in Pointless Ruminations | Comments (0)

Daily Twitter Update

6/11/2009 – 1:00 am
By Nathan | Posted in Pointless Ruminations | Comments (0)

Daily Twitter Update

6/10/2009 – 1:00 am
  • First rehearsal today. Should be fun. 12:40:42
By Nathan | Posted in Pointless Ruminations | Comments (0)

Father’s Day & Abby’s Birthday

6/9/2009 – 8:06 am

As three of you may know, Father’s Day and Abby’s birthday are both coming up. And you know what that means? Buying presents for people that are impossible to buy presents for. And Abby’s birthday is especially important this year, because she claims that last year I did not get her a birthday present. I did, but she just refuses to admit it. Whatever.

Anyway, the only shopping that I do anymore is on woot.com. For those of you who don’t know about woot, it is a site where they sell one thing, AND ONLY ONE THING, each day. But you can get some amazing deals. So I’m hoping that in the next couple of weeks, something good comes up on woot that they would like. Right now it is sleeping bags, which I don’t think either of them would particularly care for.

So I’m really not sure what to get them, which is why I’m throwing this out there to the world. In case you don’t know them, here are some facts about each of them that might help you decide.

Dad: Likes vacuuming, cutting down trees, having ditches dug. Also, naps, cats, and working long hours.
Abby: Neo, clothes, driving me insane.

So yeah. I don’t know if that helps, but it is probably enough to put together some pretty good ideas. So hit me up, guys! Help a Nathan out.

By Nathan | Posted in Birthdays, Family, Questions | Comments (5)