Smackie the Frog

I should have posted this yesterday, but honestly I don’t get on the computer much at home. But that’s a lame excuse.

Anyway, I just wanted to wish a Happy Mother’s Day to Mom and Baba. And all the other mom’s out there. But especially Mom and Baba, who are really quite amazing, even if I don’t always act that way.

Yesterday Phil has his last final ever. Fittingly it was a computer science final, as opposed to a business school final.

So that means he’s done with college. And has more degrees than me… But whatever. Good job, Phil!

How many of you out there have intimate experience with coal dust? Raise your hands. None? Okay, well let me share a little story with you, then.

This weekend we (me, Phil, Mom) ripped the ceiling out of my dining room. It had to be done so that new drywall could be put up, and so that my ceiling fan could be moved to the proper center of the room as opposed to the improper center, also known as “not the center you dumbasses why put a ceiling fan there?”

Anyway, we started ripping down the 100 year old plaster, and you know what came with it? 100 year old coal dust. I’m guessing that when my house was built, it was kept warm via a coal burning furnace. Or there was a family of coal fairies living in the cracks and crevasses until very recently. So as we tore down, we were rained on by this nasty coal dust. It fell everywhere, and I mean everywhere. And it was so thick in the air that there were times you couldn’t see 2 feet in front of your face. No joke. And the three of us looked like some poor peasant coal miners out of some demented Charles Dickens world.

Even after hours of hauling out trash and vacuuming and wiping and scrubbing and cursing, my house is still covered in this crap. I honestly don’t think it will ever go away. It is so fine that it gets into the tiniest places, and no matter how many times you wipe and scrub, there is still more. At this point I’m thinking about just setting the whole place on fire.

So yeah. The house is going great.

I think that the people at my work are trying to kill me. Every morning, for about an hour, I smell this horrible, foul odor. I didn’t smell it at my old office ever. So I can only assume that they moved me to this new office because it is right by the aerosol rat poison dispenser. And in a few days, when I’m dead, they’ll haul my body away and act like nothing ever happened.

And before you ask, I did ask a few people about the smell. They either claimed that they couldn’t smell it (Possibly immune. Or liars.) or that it was just the cleaning spray (In on the scheme).

I just wanted to give everyone a heads up in case I disappear forever.

I have been woken up by 2 earthquakes in the last 3 nights. I have also been rattled by another one while I was wide awake. And I’ve gotta tell you - it is scary as hell. Especially for someone who has never felt an earthquake. Double especially for someone who has felt all of these from the 2nd floor of his masonry framed house.

I think the most interesting part of the ordeal, for me, was the insight it gave me into myself. I don’t know how many of you practiced earthquake drills and readiness when you were in elementary school, but I certainly did. I think it had to do with that guy that predicted we were going to get “the big one” back in the early 90’s. But anyway, they taught us stuff like “get under your desk", or” stand in a doorway", or “for God’s sake, “don’t stand under a running ceiling fan.” All of these are useful things.

Well, early Friday morning, when the first quake hit, you know what I did? Popped out of bed, ran, and stood under my ceiling fan. I thought maybe the fan was shaking the whole house or something. Cut me some slack. It was 4:30 in the morning.

But what did I learn about myself? That I’m a dumbass. That’s what.

Happy Birthday, Helen! I hope you made it to your destination!

As many of you may or may not know, my birthday is coming up, in like a month and a day.

I know I’m not going to get any presents because everyone has been buying me stuff for the house, and that’s totally fine. But if I have some secret blog admirer out there that would like to buy me something, please, please please, get me this.

I’m lusting after it.

So apparently today is Type 1 Diabetes Awareness day. And in honor of that, I want to make you all aware of type 1 diabetes.

Okay, now that you are aware of it, let me explain it. I sure didn’t understand it very well before I got it, and I think a lot of people don’t.

You’ve probably heard about diabetes in the news. Maybe Wilfred Brimley has talked to you about it. Well chances are, you were hearing about type 2 diabetes, also known as Fat People Diabetes. That is usually, but not always, caused by being fat, or old, or some combination. Generally, although again, not always, the person’s lifestyle has something to do with the fact that they have it. And it accounts for about 90% of the cases of diabetes out there. But it is not what I have, and it is not what we are becoming aware of today.

Type 1 diabetes is an auto-immune disease, which means that it is caused by the immune system attacking parts of the body, in this case, the islet cells on the pancreas. These cells produce insulin, which is a hormone that the body uses to convert sugar into energy, more or less. So basically, I don’t have those cells anymore, so my pancreas doesn’t produce insulin. That means that when I eat sugar, it can’t be used, and so it just stays in my blood. This causes all sorts of bad things, stemming from the fact that the sugar molecules are large, and cause damage to the blood vessels. More or less and other things, once again. (I’m dumbing all of this down a little.)

In order to not die, I have to take insulin. There are 2 ways to do this, usually. You can either inject yourself, using needles and syringes and all that good stuff, or use an insulin pump, which is what I do.

Modern insulin therapy theory involves 2 types of insulin usage, basal and bolus. Basically as you go throughout the day your liver is creating little bits of sugar. This happens whether you eat or not. Basal insulin compensates for that sugar. If you are using shots you will take 1 shot a day of a basal type insulin, such as Lantus. This will last 24 hours and counteract that sugar that the body creates. If you have a pump, the pump will drip a little bit of insulin into your body constantly, throughout the day, matching more closely what the body does normally. In this case a different type of insulin is used: Novolog or Humalog.

I use Novolog, a fast acting insulin, also used for the bolus insulin requirements. This handles my basal sugars, as well as my bolus. So what is a bolus, you ask? Well whenever you eat, your body breaks down all of those carbohydrates in your food into glucose, and does it very quickly. To counteract THAT sugar, you take a fast acting insulin right before or after you eat, dosed according to how much you ate. I press some buttons on my pump to make that happen, but it is basically the same idea if you are taking shots. You just inject yourself with the appropriate number of units.

In order to make sure that I am taking the correct amount of insulin, I also have to constantly monitor my blood sugar. Bolus amounts get changed based on whether I am above or below normal at any given time. I have 2 ways to monitor. One is the blood test strips that you’ve surely seen a commercial for. I prick my hand, draw some blood out, put it on the strip, and 5 seconds later I know what my blood sugar is. The other way is a little machine that I wear on my stomach. It goes inside of me, and is constantly measuring my sugar level. It takes these readings and displays them on my pump.

So, what is this “pump” that I keep mentioning? Well instead of giving myself shots, I have a machine that I wear all the time. You’ve probably seen it in my pocket. It holds about 3 days worth of insulin, and is connected via tube to a catheter that is inserted into my belly fat. It handles all of my insulin delivery needs, and gets me away from constant shots. The only thing I have to do is replace the catheter every 3 days.

By using this combination of basal and bolus insulin, along with the pump and sensor, I am able to keep my sugar levels reasonably close to that of a normal person. But the pancreas is perfect, and I am not. I’m never sure how much food I’ve eaten, and the blood testing solutions have around a 15% margin of error. So I can end up with high blood sugar or low blood sugar. And I do, pretty much constantly.

High blood sugar is what causes all of the side effects associated with diabetes. The long term damage occurs because of having chronic high blood sugar. But it also causes short term problems as well. Headaches, dizziness, and nausea are the most common side effects that I feel. Long term it can cause me to go blind, lose limbs, or have heart failure.

Low blood sugar is what causes the bad short term side effects. If I accidentally take too much insulin, I can go low. When this happens I get shaky, confused, dizzy, and all around “out of it". It’s really unpleasant, but happens quite often. It is relatively easy to fix, though. I just have to eat some sugar, which is why I always have candy with me.

So I think that is about it. I hope that you are all a little more aware about something that I deal with everyday, and that millions of others deal with also. It isn’t so bad, but we do like hugs.

Last night I finally got around to Watching Across the Universe. Kelly wanted to see it, and I had at one point wanted to see it, but had since changed my mind. I suppose that I wanted to see it enough to sit through it, but I had a bad feeling going in. And let me tell you, I was right.

It was literally one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I’m not even sure where to begin. First, the plot was trite. And they butchered the music. And they tried to be literal (Prudence entered the movie by coming in through a bathroom window, for example), but at the same time they tried to be too metaphorical. The best way I can explain it is that if you’ve seen Magical Mystery Tour, imagine some of the weirder scenes from that, and intersperse them with a movie that is trying to be normal and literal and tell a love story. It doesn’t work and it just sorta ruins everything. And it was WAY too long.

I guess my biggest problem was that they tried to do something that was like something the Beatles did in the 60s, but it isn’t the 60s. So even though what the Beatles did back then was revolutionary, in today’s context it looks silly. And don’t get me wrong. I’m the biggest Beatles fan, and still think their music is better than anything else out there. And what they did culturally was amazing, at the time. But if they did it today, it would be completely different. And I think the best way to celebrate that is to push new boundaries, not pay homage to old ones.

And really, it just sucked as a movie.

My furnace has been acting up. Sometimes it will turn on, other times it won’t. It has sort of been driving me insane for a couple of weeks now, but last night I figured out a way to make it turn on.

Blowing on it.

That’s right. My furnace is like a campfire. I get down on the ground, right next to it, and blow into it. And sure enough, it fires up. WTF?

I hate owning a house.

http://www.slate.com/id/2187780

I fought it long and hard. I didn’t want carpet in my house. I had ripped out a bunch of carpet. Why on Earth would I want to pay money to put it back down? Carpet is cheap. Carpet is cheesy. Carpet is for people living in the County. Carpet gets really dirty. There are no good colors of carpet.

Well, after realizing that I had no choice, I settled and got carpet. And yesterday it was installed. And you know what? Sadly, I like it. I think it was absolutely the right choice. I only have it on the 2nd floor, where the bedrooms are, and I can’t think of a flooring that would be nicer. It is soft, comfy on the feet, hides the imperfections in the floor, muffles sounds, and provides a nice surface for the doggies to run around on.

So I’m a convert. Carpet is not bad. But there is a caveat. Carpet is only acceptable in bedroom areas. Living rooms, dining rooms, family rooms, and everything else that isn’t “bedroom” or “bedroom hall” is off limits.

And one day I’ll get some pictures up. Lots has been done. But lots still has to be done.

Training classes are good proof of the following things:

1) I am smarter than most people.
2) I do not miss school, although school was better than this.
3) I’m more patient that people give me credit for.
4) It is best to sit in the back so you can see other people good off.

I’m in a training class today and tomorrow for something that I thought I needed, but it turns out I only need about 4% of it. So I’m bored. I think the main problem is the professor assumes we all have asses for brains. And judging by the amount of time that everyone takes on their assignments, he’s not wrong.

He also happens to be a very boring man. I guess basic Oracle training at UMSL’s technology center doesn’t get the most dynamic people.

Save me.

Today is Alex’s 26 birthday. 26. That’s a quarter of the way to 104.

I can’t even believe I know someone that old.

But anyway, this most important thing is that this means my birthday is 2 months away, so you all need to start thinking about what you want to get me. The best gift would, of course, be fixing my house. But I’m also looking for a BBQ grill, socks, and maybe I’ll finally take Dad up on his offer and get my car door fixed.

This weekend:

Floors were sanded.
Floors were oiled.
Drywall was hung.
Drywall was taped and mudded.
Walls were painted.

I know that doesn’t sound like a lot, but it really is. And I still don’t even feel like I’m close to being done. The list of things that need to be finished is too long to mention, but the most important things are:

Taping and mudding needs to be finished.
Floors need to finish being oiled.
Flooring needs to be decided on and installed in my bedroom.
Satellite and electrical hookups to the 2nd floor need to be completed.
Downstairs walls need to be painted.

Then I can get into things like rebuilding the stairs to their original specifications, updating the kitchen, making the fireplace nicer… The list just goes on and on and on.

So that’s why my updates have continued to be sporadic.

Sorry I haven’t been posting, but I literally haven’t had a day off from working since I got the house. And I know I promised pictures, and I’ll get around to it, but honestly, at the end of the day, the last thing in the world I want to do is crop and upload a bunch of pictures.

Luckily, my mom has uploaded some. So go take a look here.

Update:

More pics here.

Some comedian (Jim Gaffigan?) has a joke about seeing a movie for the first time long after everyone else has seen it, and the tribulations that come from attempting to to to people about it. Well I feel that way right now. Last week I saw The Matrix for the first time, and I thought that it was an incredible movie. It really blew me away in a lot of ways.

Well I’ve been going around to everyone I see and I ask “Hey, have you seen the Matrix?” and they just look at me like I’m retarded. Come on. Is it really such a big deal to have not seen a movie for 9 years that everyone else in the world has seen? Speaking of, how about The Matrix? Amazing movie, eh?

Btw, the answer to the previous post is “Firefly".

I’ve recently rediscovered Star Trek: TNG, thanks to a site I found online. And I’m glad I did, because it is really quite a good show. I remember staying up late when I was in middle school and early high school during the summer’s to watch it. And I remember how my whole schedule got messed up when channel 30 decided to move it from 9:00 to 11:00. But that’s besides the point.

Now I can watch most of the episodes online, and it is great. Sure, some of the episodes are pretty horrible, and things can be pretty kitschy. But in spite of all of that, they are amazingly enjoyable. And quite a few of the episodes are pretty good. But maybe, mostly, I’m just liking it because it reminds me of when I was younger, and that is getting more and more appealing to me, the more that real life becomes real.

So I’m going to have to recommend that everyone out there point their browsers over to www.quicksilverscreen.com and check out some of the episodes. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. And if anyone out there knows of any shows similar to Star Trek but not Star Trek, I’d be grateful, because I’m going to be out of episodes soon, and would like something new to watch.

Look at that last post. “I’ll post picture of it soon". I could have gone and changed it. But I decided to leave it as a testament to the fact that I was exhausted.

Now, however, I’m feeling great. Who wants to come over and help move stuff? Or build stuff? I pay in Diet Sunkist.

Also, I really love my house, and I can’t wait until I actually get to live there. Right now it is just like a giant, dirty, money suck. But I can really see the potential that is there, and I’m starting to think that someday I might have someplace really nice.