I realize that I have been a little confusing on here lately. I guess that is because I have been really stressed out, really sad, and really confused. These last two weeks have been among the hardest two weeks that I’ve ever had.
I said a few posts ago that I didn’t think I was going to get an offer from the company in New York. But then I asked about going to New York vs. not going without really explaining everything. Well here is the deal. They did offer me a job. And so I had to decide whether I was going to go to New York or not. There were lots of good reasons to go and there were lots of good reasons not to go. It was a really hard and stressful choice, made especially worse by the fact that Laura broke up with me, taking away my main support pillar in New York.
Finally I decided, and I’m going to New York. I turned in my resignation to Wash U and will work there through the end of May. Then I start my new job on June 6th. This is a crazy short amount of time to do a ton of stuff. In fact, I have to do so much that it is almost impossible to comprehend. I’m sure that I can take care of it, but it is still stressful just thinking about it.
So yeah, that’s about it. It doesn’t seem real yet. I’m not sure when it is going to feel real, but right now nothing feels right. I know that I’m going to be going to New York, but it sure doesn’t feel like it.
If anyone has done something like this before and has any advice, I’d really appreciate it. Anything to make this any less hard would be great, because right now I just feel sick about the whole thing.
3 Comments
I am a great one for making lists. Never mind that some of the things on my list of Things Which Must Be Done Immediately have been on that list longer than you have been alive, but it really does help to have lists. There is a satisfaction in checking the things off as they get done and it is a good way to remember and prioritize.
Nathan
I was planning to keep my big mouth shut on this one, but since you seem so determined to rush for New Amsterdam (as it is really called), let me at least give you some tips and hints.
But first I would like to make a statement. On an earlier occasion you wrote that you have special parents. I’m now convinced that you even have VERY SPECIAL parents. They seem ready to let you take this step, and one day you are going to experience and understand that this is a difficult moment for any parent. Personally I would have locked you in the garage and would have thrown away the key.
I fully agree with your grandma about this Master List you will have to make. You will only survive this if you’re going to run this like a project:
Think it through;
Plan it through;
Execute accordingly.
So, NO free-wheeling and “let’s see what will happen”. Your first concern now is finding a place to live. Perhaps your new company could help you with this, after all they know the place, and you shouldn’t be the first one of their employees to move. (Btw, I would be rather curious where you would start working now)
Maria and I have done these long-distance moves already several times before, so we consider ourselves experts in this matter. Did you know that 80% of people moving on long-distance get sick within the year? No, you didn’t, but now you know. So please be careful. We moved to Brussels 7 years ago, I didn’t believe this either, and after 5 months I ended up in hospital with a kidney stone (the ureum type, caused by sheer stress). So please, mind your health and try to reduce your stress as much as possible (also for that reason: no free-wheeling).
In this context it would also be important to see what kind of an IT project you will be working on initially. I know this quite well, usually you will be dropped in a project under pressure. If this would be the case you should ask your company for some patience until you have settled down.
Your social network. Build on your new social network. And when I say “social network” I mean “social network”, NOT girl-chasing. Settling down is more important than a new relation.
Try to move only ONCE. Hire a truck, or a container, or whatever, and take your stuff there in a single move. If you end up with your stuff divided over St. Louis and New York, you’re lost.
It’s hard to believe, but the phone in your parent’s home can actually be called.
And I can assure you that they read their e-mails.
Please remember, I would have a 13-year old here who can’t wait to settle down in Rome, so as a matter of fact, I would be needing a really negative case (LOL). We’ll learn form your experiences.
I wish you all the good luck you can possibly have in the world (and the same to your folks).
Some companies will pay for a few weeks in a “residence inn” while you’re looking for a place. My first apartment in Los Angeles away from home was filled with rabbit droppings from the previous tenant and an air conditioner that only cooled one room, so I basically just lived in the bedroom/bathroom area and left the living room/kitchen with no furniture. It didn’t come with a fridge, but did have an oven. I got a small fridge about six months after moving in. I slept in a sleeping bag on a cot. Otherwise, it was close to work and I went home to San Diego every other weekend to see my parents and girlfriend. I mananged to quickly pay off my new car and do some exciting things in the space program.