I’ve wanted to talk about this for a while, but honestly, have been too upset to think about writing it. Now I’m going to give it a try, if only because it is in the middle of the NASCAR race, and nothing happens in a the middle part of a NASCAR race. So yeah, New York sucks…
When I first got here it was great. Sure, I missed my family and I missed my car and I missed St. Louis. But everything here was new and exciting and fun. Every day was an adventure, and I looked forward to waking up in the morning just to see what was going to happen. I even met some new people and was going out and enjoying my time here.
But then something happened. About 3 weeks ago I stopped enjoying my time here. Not being around my family started to hurt even more. Not being in St. Louis really upset me. Nothing in particular about St. Louis. Just not being there – not being able to go to all the places I was used to. Not being home. And then all of the difficulties of being here started really hitting me. The difficulty of getting anywhere. The oppressive amount of heat. The overwhelming nature of even the little things, like getting food. Not being able to drive places. And perhaps the worst part, but I kept meeting people who weren’t nice or weren’t interesting or just didn’t groove with me.
So now I’m here, and I’m alone, and tired, and frustrated, and I just want to go home. That’s not really an option right now, so I’m stuck, which adds to the feeling of frustration. I’m hoping that things will get better – people tell me that they will. But for right now I’m counting down the weeks until my lease is up and I can go home, which is not an enjoyable way to live.