I’ve wanted to talk about this for a while, but honestly, have been too upset to think about writing it. Now I’m going to give it a try, if only because it is in the middle of the NASCAR race, and nothing happens in a the middle part of a NASCAR race. So yeah, New York sucks…
When I first got here it was great. Sure, I missed my family and I missed my car and I missed St. Louis. But everything here was new and exciting and fun. Every day was an adventure, and I looked forward to waking up in the morning just to see what was going to happen. I even met some new people and was going out and enjoying my time here.
But then something happened. About 3 weeks ago I stopped enjoying my time here. Not being around my family started to hurt even more. Not being in St. Louis really upset me. Nothing in particular about St. Louis. Just not being there – not being able to go to all the places I was used to. Not being home. And then all of the difficulties of being here started really hitting me. The difficulty of getting anywhere. The oppressive amount of heat. The overwhelming nature of even the little things, like getting food. Not being able to drive places. And perhaps the worst part, but I kept meeting people who weren’t nice or weren’t interesting or just didn’t groove with me.
So now I’m here, and I’m alone, and tired, and frustrated, and I just want to go home. That’s not really an option right now, so I’m stuck, which adds to the feeling of frustration. I’m hoping that things will get better – people tell me that they will. But for right now I’m counting down the weeks until my lease is up and I can go home, which is not an enjoyable way to live.
5 Comments
Nate, I’m sorry you’re feeling bad and not liking New York. But I’d just remind you of Phil’s early postings from freshman year. Things do change and time can make a difference. Thinking of you. Jeanne
When you are in a bad situation you must try very hard to look for some aspect of good. You should feel a sense of pride in coping with the minutiae of life, like groceries and laundry, etc. Try to do some of the touristy things in NYC in your free time. I would recommend going to see the art deco lobby of the Chrysler Bldg., take a bus to the Cloisters museum, see a movie at Radio Center, try to get a ticket to be in the audience for Letterman or some other show. Take the boat ride around Manhattan Island, or just ride the ferry to Staten Island and back. Make yourself a picnic lunch and go to Central Park. Above all, remember that it is not forever, and when it is over you do not want to say gee I wish I had (fill in the blank) while I was there.
Hi, Nathan
I’m just an outsider, in all senses, but I couldn’t help noticing that you’re clearly suffering from this situation. I’m not going to say: “go back” or “you should stay”, but perhaps I could make some remarks that could help you making up your mind or at least recognize some patterns in how people perceive situations.
Btw, your grandma made some very wise remarks, and you should certainly try to come out of that vicious circle of working / staying alone in your apartment (that’s pure poison). I must be honest, New York wouldn’t be my personal choice: too big, too impersonal, and as a matter of fact too unfriendly. My apologies to all New Yorkers, please hold you flames, that’s how I perceive it. I would avoid ANY big city and I know what I’m talking about.
I would like to remind you of the fact that the emotions you’re going through at this moment are not so uncommon as you may perhaps think. You have been catapulted from a protected school environment into real life, and you simply have to find your way in life. Any person over 30 will recognize the feeling. First question you should ask to yourself now is: “Am I happy with my job?”? For the moment your job is the main reason you would be in New York. Second question you should ask yourself is: “Am I socially integrated and/or am I going to be socially integrated soon”? And that’s where family, relatives and friends are normally very useful. Your mom will probably be very unhappy with what I’m going to say now, but in your particular case I would regard friends even more important than your family. You are in the process of outgrowing your family (that would be a normal thing for a young adult) and even if you would return to St. Louis tomorrow, I am convinced that your unhappy feeling would remain. Your parents love will always be with you, wherever you are.
I think you should also be honest to yourself: if you decide for New York you should be aware of the fact that you are NOT a New Yorker, but you certainly should try to be become one. Can you find around your way in New York without a map? Do you know the subway lines by heart? Can you tell a tourist what place to visit and which not? Is there any spot in the city you are attached to? If I were in your position I would become member of a historical society, or something of that kind. Anything will be good, as long as it helps you to develop an emotional link with the city you’re living in. Don’t be surprised that such a process will take a couple of years. I’ve done it a couple of times myself now and I still find it a mighty hard thing to do.
Good luck and I hope you will take a wise decision.
Hey Nathan-
Sorry your time isn’t turning out as great as you had hoped, but at least you can say you did it!
from everything i’ve heard about new york, it’s a great place but you’ve got to take initiative to find your niche. there are wonderful people, but you have to find them. there are amazing things going on, but you have to seek them out. you tend to like to let things to come to you, and i can imagine how this would make you feel frustrated, lonely, and unhappy in new york. my advice is to keep trying, no matter how annoying it is right now. check out those newspapers that list all the free events. start up conversations with random people in coffee shops. and the most important thing… phase out people who you don’t really like or who aren’t good for you. i know putting forth this kind of effort is the last thing you want to do after a long day at work, but i honestly think it’ll be the ticket to a more enjoyable experience. you might very well still head back to stl as soon as your lease runs up, but you might as well enjoy your time in nyc while it lasts, right?
plus, i’m coming in a week, and i’m kind of obsessive about seeking out random cool things to do, and you can bet i’ll be dragging you along.