Smackie the Frog

I haven’t really written about my diabetes much since I got it, mainly because I don’t want to be one of those people who is always blabbing on about what is wrong with them. I believe that I once classified that sort of thing as a “woman with a problem blog”. But lately it has been bothering me a fair bit, so I decided to write a little bit about it. So indulge me. Thanks.

About a month ago I went to the doctor and told him that I had been feeling like crap, especially after I eat. I have a new piece of equipment hooked up to me, a real time blood glucose monitor, that allows me to see what my blood sugar is doing every 5 minutes. So I was aware that after eating I would get these spikes, and spikes are what really make you feel like you’ve been hit by a truck. So he increased my insulin dosage by a lot. Almost doubling the amount I take before I eat. And that has made a huge difference. Sometimes I feel good. Almost normal, even. Almost like I felt before I even had to deal with any of this crap.

The other good thing that happened when I was at the doctor was he tested my A1C. This is basically a test that tells you what your blood sugar has been, on average, for the past 3 months. When I was diagnosed is was 11.1, which basically means a blood sugar of almost 300. In August, It was 7.6. Well in December it was 6.5. This is very good. The “goal” of most diabetics is to get it under 7, and many fight with it for years without ever being able to achieve this. It isn’t good enough, still. A normal person would have an A1C under 5. But I’m getting better, and I’d be really happy if I was able to get it under 6. That would mean that I would get to live a pretty complication free life, and not have any decreased life span.

So while everything is going fine on the way I’m treating it, it is the fact that I have to treat it that gets to me. I’m tired of having to change out my pump stuff every three days, and switch my sensor every six. I’m tired of checking my blood sugar all the time. I’m tired of constantly worrying about whether my sugar is going to go low or go high. I’m tired of having to figure out how many carbs I’ve eaten after a meal and then worry for the next 3 hours if everything is going to be okay. It’s just a lot to have to deal with, and it adds up.

Not to say that things aren’t getting better. They are way better than they were when I was first diagnosed, or even 3 months ago. I really do feel almost normal a fair amount of the time. I just don’t know how to get over this last bit of an issue with it. It is a really strange feeling to explain, thinking about yourself and realizing you have something “wrong” with you and then coming to terms with it. I guess it’ll just take a little bit more time.

And I apologize for being bitchy.