My family is stupid, and we need to come up with a place to go for summer vacation. We are incapable of doing this, however, because as I just mentioned, we are STUPID. So I’m going to lay down the rules that have been given, and if anyone out there has any ideas, let me know.
Rule #1: Cannot be hot. Dad doesn’t want to take a summer vacation anyplace hot.
Rule #2: Cannot be crowded. Dad doesn’t want to go anywhere crowded.
Rule #3: Cannot be the beach. Helen doesn’t like the beach.
Rule #4: Cannot be in the mountains. I do not like mountains.
Rule #5: Cannot be a ranch. I do not like ranches.
So there you go. Five simple rules. It can’t be that hard to find a place to go. Of course, if it were up to me, we’d just go to Disney World. Every year. Always.