Smackie the Frog

As many of you know, this weekend was July 4th weekend. And what is the most American thing to do to celebrate our independence? Why shooting off fireworks, of course. Drunkenness can be included, if you so wish, but that greatly increases the chances of getting blown up by said fireworks.

So being good American’s, after a morning of riding horses (ow), and an afternoon of Thai food and naps, Kelly and I headed out to Dad’s work to shoot off fireworks. His work is in the middle of nowhere, so it is actually legal to shoot them there. And to top this off, I had the best idea. Why not bring the dogs? So we did.

Anyway, we got out there and surveyed what had been purchased, and I quickly became disheartened. What was up with all of this piddly shit? Mom and Dad and Abby had purchased sensible, small fireworks. Some roman candles, some fountains, and a few bottle rocket type things. This isn’t what I wanted. I wanted something big. One of those crazy fireworks that looks like it could put a small satellite into orbit. So Kelly and I headed back to the firework stand, and made the best purchase of my life.

It was sitting there, on the top shelf, and I knew from the moment that I saw it that it would be ours. It was called the “Dixie Celebration”, and had a big Confederate Flag on it, and was so ridiculous that it was perfect. Sure, there were bigger ones. Hell, you can get ridiculous ones for hundreds of dollars. But this one was $25, which was just about what I wanted to spend. Plus, with the purchase of the Dixie Celebration, you get a bunch of other stuff free.

So skip to the end of the night, and it was time to fire off the ol’ Dixie. And let me tell you, it did not disappoint. It was like a scaled down version of the fireworks that you see if you go downtown. Except since it is right over your head, it is way more impressive. I’m already looking forward to next year, and the next ridiculous thing I can buy.

Anyway, I can totally recommend spending a little extra and getting the crazy looking fireworks. Everyone will be impressed. Unless you live in the middle of the city and it is 1:00 in the morning and I’m trying to sleep.

Oh, and the dogs were terrified and hated the whole experience.