Not The Christmas Letter

Not yet. Sorry. But I’ll have it done before Christmas. For the 2 of you that even still check this regularly.

No, the purpose of this post is to talk about salesmen. And I say this with the knowledge that one of my best friends is a salesmen. But besides him, I really, really hate having to deal with salesmen. Like, to the point that my blood is starting to curdle from the amount I’ve had to deal with them in the last couple of weeks.

Let me explain. Actually, let me not explain, since this is the Internet. But let us just assume that I am helping someone out technologically, and to do that I have had to deal with a bunch of salesmen. Salespeople. Whatever. And I have found it to be the most unpleasant thing I’ve had to do in a long time. Why? Well, let’s see.

1 – Once they get a hold of your phone number/email/address they grab on and don’t let go.

I have gotten so many calls, and have had so many voicemails and so many emails since this project has started that I’ve lost count. Oh, and they say things like “I don’t want to pressure you. I’m just checking in.” But really what they are doing is pressuring me. Little do they know that I have absolutely no control over this situation, so they’d be better off calling a random number and hoping to get an answer.

2 – They usually don’t know what they are talking about.

The technical questions that I have are in some cases pretty easy to answer, and in some cases actually require a knowledge of technology to answer. So I know when I’m getting bullshitted. And with these salespeople, I’m getting bullshitted. And honestly, I don’t even really blame them. Their job is not a technical one. But then they are put in a bad position of having to sell technical solutions. So they are caught in this in between world of knowing just enough to frustrate me.

3 – They are smarmy.

Seriously. Do they ALL have to use that much hair gel?

4 – They are TOO nice.

Look, I’m not your friend. You are not my friend. You acting like you are my best buddy in the entire world is not going to make or break this sale. Be polite, be professional, and answer my questions. That is what I am looking for. I’m not looking for some fake chumminess. There are people that I enjoy talking to that I would talk to about my life if I wanted to. And you know what? A lot of times I don’t even talk to them about that stuff. So I definitely don’t want to talk to you.

5 – They try to weasel their way in.

They really want to come to you. They really want to meet at your place. They put up road blocks that make it difficult to get information except on their terms. Hey, you know what? That is obnoxious. You should be catering to me to a certain extent. If I make it clear that I am uncomfortable with you coming to my place of business right away, then respect that. Don’t say that it is impossible for you to do your job. Because if other people can do it, you can as well.

So yeah. I guess I’ll stop ranting down. I just needed to get that off my chest. Salespeople… So glad I stuck it out to get the CS degree…

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